Drive My Car

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Often time a product can be more than just a product. Some products are symbols while some others are reflections of their owners. Case in point – cars. To a lot of people, cars are more than just vehicles to take them from A to B. Cars are a reflection of themselves, their dreams and their lives!

“And how do you know this?” you ask. Well, I'm glad that you asked that question because I can finally reveal a secret that I've been keeping in my chest for many years now. Now, don't tell anyone but I have a special receiver that was given to me by a dark stranger when I was in Roswell in New Mexico. What makes this receiver special is that it can detect messages car owners are sending through their cars!

So keep the noise down, pull the blinds and read this very softly because the following are the messages car owners are transmitting:

Kancil – “I'm tired of riding motorbikes already. You don't get any respect riding motorbikes.”

Kelisa – “I need a good reliable second car. Kancil gets no respect but Kelisa, hey, it's the car of the year.”

Juara – “Hey, anyone is entitled to make one mistake in his lifetime.”

Saga – “I want to upgrade to the Wira but can't quite afford it yet. Wait till AFTA.”

Wira – “Actually, I want to buy a Japanese car but I can't quite afford it yet. Wait till AFTA.”

Perdana – “I don't know why some people are willing to pay obscene sums of money for imported cars. Hey, I'm proud to be a Malaysian. Baby, you can drive my car and we'll go to McD, drink Coke and then buy that new Levi's.”

Civic/Accord – “I refuse to pander to unfair business tactics and if I have to pay slightly extra for comfort, I'll do so.”

Alfa/Audi/Citroen/Renault – I don't know why people love Mercedes and BMWs. Why; my car is just as good, if not better.”

Volvo – “I'm very safety conscious. Let me put out my cigarette before I tell you more.”

BMW 318 – “I'm a ladies man. Let's hope they never find out that I took a 7 year loan to buy this beauty.”

BMW 523 – “Now I'll get some respect. This ought to show ‘em. After all, this is a 5-series, not a 3-series. Those are for kids.”

BMW 7/Mercedes S-Class – “Recession? Depression? Makes no difference to me. The company is paying for this car.”

Mercedes 200/230 – “Now they will know that I am a successful businessman. I hope my old boss can see me now.”

Any MPV – “I'm a family man. Of course, I'll be driving this car to work alone ninety percent of the time.”

Any truck – “I'm ready to climb any mountain. But in the meantime, I'll just drive this car to KL and back to PJ only. I don't want it to get dirty.”

Oh wait, wait… there's something wrong with the receiver. There seems to be a technical glitch somewhere. (That's the last time I'm going to use anything given by little green men.) It appears that all the previous messages were jumbled up. In other words, they are incorrect! So ignore all of the above messages.

But take the following words seriously, because they are the truth.

What car you drive and whatever car you own, this you must never, ever do: never ever modify – add racy stripes, turbo-charge, change to low profile tyres or god forbid, add monster exhaust tail pipes – your car.

“And why not?” you ask.

“Because it is a sure sign of telling the world that you are NOT rich, that's why!”

See folks, I know a number of millionaires and am fortunate enough to call some of them my friends. I've also read numerous biographies of millionaires and billionaires. And get this; not a single one of them – you read that right – modify their cars. Not one of them spent time, effort or money modifying their cars. While they may own a lot of cars, including the flashiest sports cars, they do not modify the cars.

So those folks who modify their cars are actually announcing to the world that they are not yet millionaires (and most likely never will be)! And from what I've seen so far, I've yet to be convinced otherwise.

So the next time you hear the young man vroom-vrooming his turbo-charged engines, that's his way of saying, “Look at me folks, I'm not rich yet!”


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